A prayer to the Goddess
सर्वमंगल मांगल्ये शिवे सर्वार्थ साधिके ।
शरण्ये य्यम्बके गौरी देवि नारायणि नमोःस्तु ते ॥
"Salutations to You, O Supreme Goddess, who is the most auspicious among all that is auspicious, the beloved counterpart of Shiva, the fulfiller of all aims, the ultimate refuge, the three-eyed one, and the radiant Devi."
About me — introducing myself
I am Suhaila — The Adyastrini
Ten years ago, I was surviving suicide attempts. Not one. Four of them.
I didn't want to live. I couldn't see a life worth staying alive for.
The weight I was carrying
- An ugly divorce
- Single motherhood
- A call center job I hated
- Living in my grandma's house like a passenger surrounded by ill intentioned relatives.
- Hyper thyroidism. Clinical Depression. Bipolar Disorder. A uterine fibroidal disorder speeding up to become uterus cancer.
The people who should have protected me, didn't.
I was hated by my own people. Beaten. Manipulated. Sexually harassed and assaulted. Insulted. Accused. Abused in every possible way.
The same men who spoke the loudest about religion were the ones abusing me when I refused to give in.
That was the world I lived in.
After nearly ten years I moved into a new home of my own. I thought life was settling down.
Then I dreamt of Shri Krishna. Holding me in my exhausted state form of a wounded warrior who was wounded all over, with blood all over me. No words spoken. Just his embrace and presence that healed me with the depth of his Love.
That dream became the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
And then my entire world fell apart. Heartbreaks. Betrayals. Everything I believed about myself collapsed.
Looking back now, Shri Krishna did not come to save my old life.
He came to end it.
Because the woman I had been until then, wasn't really me.
Years of walking into the unknown
I walked away from Islam.
I walked away from corporate.
I stopped living the life everyone else wanted for me.
I found Sanatana Dharma.
I found Maa Kaali and Mahadev.
And eventually...I found myself.
Every dream. Every heartbreak. Every Surrender. Every pilgrimage. Every sadhana stripped away another layer of who I wasn't.
Until all that remained was TRUTH.
I know what rock bottom feels like. I did not become a spiritual coach overnight because I became enlightened. I am a coach because I know what it feels like to be all on your own after being abused and betrayed by your own people. I know what it feels like to lose yourself.
And I know what it feels like when a Higher Force quietly keeps saying "Keep walking. I'm here."
For years, I thought I was searching for God.
I believe God was slowly turning me back towards myself.
Everytime life apart, something greater was guiding me HOME. Not just to Sanatana Dharma...but to myself.
That is why Adyastrini exists.
The name
The name Adyastrini is rooted in Sanskrit.
ADYA · आद्य
The Primordial, The Source, The Womb, Adi Shakti ....Maa Adya Kaali herself.
ASTRA · अस्त्र
The sacred, occult weapon of initiation that cuts through falsehood, illusion and deception.
Together Adyastrini — आद्यास्त्रिणी is
She who bears the Primordial Weapon of Adi Shakti.
She does not seek. She does not chase. She BECOMES it.
Truth and Power, Kali and Shiva, Fire and Serpent, Weapon and Occult. These are not deities and symbols for her.
Adyastrini EMBODIES them.
This embodiment also carries into my work.
Adyastrini lives and works, not to give women another identity. Not to make them more dependent on me or another healer.
Adyastrini is when you stop living from fear and illusion. And become fearless. Utterly FEARLESS because you are living in Truth, Authenticity, Inner Authority and Empowerment.
And if you have found yourself here drawn to Adyastrini....
Welcome my Beloved. Let's RISE together.
Jai Maa (Hail to the Supreme Mother)
The two paths
Two fires. One flame.
Every woman arrives at a different gate. One path grounds you into the earth of your truth; the other opens the sky of your soul story. Both begin here.
The initiation that grounds
SWAHA
The sacred fire offering. A grounding initiation for women ready to burn away what is false and stand rooted in their truth.
Enter Swaha
The flight that expands
COSMOFY
A private four-week journey through your 16-point Galactic Blueprint — your soul story, spiritual themes and stellar path.
Enter Cosmofy